Having a best friend is one of the greatest joys in life. Your best friend is someone you can share your deepest secrets with, laugh until your stomach hurts, and call at 3am when you can’t sleep. However, as you get older and life gets busier, it can be hard to find time to have a proper chat with your best friend.
Make chatting a priority
The first step is deciding that you want to make chatting with your best friend a priority. This means carving out time specifically for catching up, not just trying to cram it in around other plans. Put a weekly or monthly catch-up in your calendar and treat it as you would any other important appointment. Don’t double book that time or let other things encroach on it.
Having a set time will help chatting become a habit for both of you. You’ll start looking forward to your next scheduled catch-up. If the regular time doesn’t work one week, be sure to reschedule rather than just letting it slide.
Take advantage of small windows of time
You don’t always need a huge chunk of time to connect with your best friend. Little moments like your commute to work or walking the dog can work too. Agreed windows like these allow you to chat more frequently. Calling while driving or walking somewhere means you can catch up without having to sacrifice other priorities.
If you can only manage 15 minutes on the phone before you get home, or a quick coffee before work, don’t discount it. A bunch of smaller connections allow you to cover more ground and feel closer than one longer catch up. Just be present in these moments rather than squeezing your friend in around other distractions.
Schedule video calls
While texting and calling work, it can be harder to find real quality time to chat. Scheduling regular video call catch-ups can help give you that valuable facetime.
Set up a weekly or fortnightly call and chat over your morning cuppa, or wind down together with an evening drink. Video calls feel more connecting as you can see your friend’s facial expressions and pick up on non-verbal cues.
Having your friend on video also avoids the temptation to multitask. You can give them your full, undivided attention for 30 minutes or an hour to really nurture your friendship.
Text throughout the day
For your non-video chat friends, keep your connection alive through regular texting. Having a running text conversation means you stay in touch in bite-sized moments throughout your day.
Send them funny memes that remind you of them, keep them updated on what you’re working on, and ping them random thoughts or questions as they arise.
These kinds of smaller interactions peppered through your day help you feel connected even if you can’t always sync up for a long phone call or video chat.
Replace digital time with IRL hangouts
While digital communication is important, don’t let it completely replace real time together. There’s something special about being in your best friend’s presence that you just can’t replicate through a screen.
Make an effort to see your long-distance bestie in person every few months if possible, whether they come to visit you or vice versa. And for the friend you see more regularly, be intentional about spending true quality time together.
Plan activities where you can hang out and properly catch up, like going for brunch or getting a coffee and walking around together. Don’t just default to seeing them in group situations where you don’t get one-on-one time.
Send letters or care packages
For long-distance best friends, send them fun mail like letters, postcards from trips you take, or occasional care packages. Snail mail feels more meaningful and personal in our digital world.
Your friend will love getting a surprise envelope from you in their mailbox. Take the time to handwrite multi-page letters filling them in on what’s been happening in your life. It’s a comforting, old-school way to stay connected.
Play games together online
Playing games together online, whether on your phones or games consoles, allows you to hang out and have fun even from afar. From classic games like Words With Friends or DrawSomething, to multiplayer video games, having regular virtual game nights nurtures your bond.
Trash talk each other while you play and continue the conversation after you’re done gaming. The shared activity gives you something fun to do while you enjoy each other’s company.
Join online groups and chats
If you and your friend have shared interests, join online groups like Discord servers, Facebook groups, gaming clans or special interest forums. Having a community you’re both part of gives you another way to interact and a shared passion to bond over.
You might not be talking one-on-one, but you’ll see each other’s comments and can chat about the group activity next time you sync up. Being part of the same community makes it easy to have things to discuss.
Share music playlists
Music is such a powerful way to bond. Share playlists on Spotify that remind you of your friend, showcase new songs you’ve been liking or create mixes titled after inside jokes between the two of you.
By adding them on Spotify you can see and comment on what they’ve been listening to as well. Music is a simple but meaningful way to feel connected from afar.
Watch shows & movies together virtually
Thanks to apps and browser extensions like Scener, Metastream and Netflix Party, you can now watch shows and movies together simultaneously from different locations. Queue up the same Netflix titles, press play at the same time, and chat through the movie.
For that authentic movie night feeling, both order the same takeout food to eat ‘together’ while you watch. Close friends often have shared pop culture loves, so use technology to digitally recreate that bond.
Write letters back and forth
There’s something so special about receiving a letter written just for you. To nurture your bond, start an ongoing handwritten letter exchange with your best friend. Take turns writing about meaningful things happening in your life and reflect on your friendship.
Use nice stationery and pens to make it feel extra special. When you receive one, set aside quality time to read it and really soak in their news before writing back. This thoughtful communication style helps you feel intimately connected.
Travel together when possible
Shared travel memories can take your friendship to a deeper level. If possible, meet up somewhere to vacation together, or visit them in their home city. Exploring a new destination together is such a bonding experience.
And when you visit them, they can show you around their local hangouts and hometown favorites. Plus, when you part ways again, you’ll have lots of new inside jokes and travel stories to reminisce over until the next meetup.
Surprise each other with gifts
Everyone loves being surprised with a gift that reminds you of them. Think of a friendship gift as you’re shopping or if you come across something very ‘them’. Then pop it in the mail as a token of your appreciation.
Or if you find their favorite candy or snack while traveling, grab some to send to them. Little ‘just because’ presents are a great way to show you care from afar.
Collaborate creatively
Channel your friendship into creative collaborations. Come up with an art project to work on together, like making daily photo challenges for each other. Or write a story together by taking turns writing chapters.
If you share musical talents, record a song together by layering your tracks. Or combine your love of fitness by training for a half marathon ‘together’ and comparing running routes and times. Creative projects give you shared goals and let you apply your friendship in a productive way.
Remember important dates
Make sure you acknowledge important dates for your long-distance bestie, so they feel special even from afar. Send cards for birthdays and anniversaries, and call or text to celebrate achievements and occasions.
Ask them to share photos from events you’re sad to miss, like birthday dinners or weddings, so you can get a virtual window into their world. Celebrating together strengthens bonds when you’re not physically present.
Have deep conversations
Your best friend is someone you can open up to about life’s big questions. Make time for heart-to-heart conversations and get philosophical together. Discuss your hopes, dreams, beliefs and fears without judgement.
Chat about politics, society, humanity and spirituality. Sending voice notes back and forth is a great way to bare your soul from different time zones. These sincere conversations help you know each other on a deeper level.
Make visits meaningful
When you do manage to be in the same place at the same time, make your visits count. Avoid just defaulting to watching Netflix together – really nurture your face-to-face time.
Share activities you both love like hiking, crafting or going to markets. Cook or bake their favorite foods together and linger over meals. Have lingering conversations that you don’t want to end. Being fully present when you reunite keeps your bond strong.
Send encouraging messages
One beautiful thing about best friends is being able to lift each other up. Send your long-distance BFF encouraging text messages when they have something big coming up.
The week before a marathon, text to say you know they’ve got this. When they have a big work presentation, send a quick “You’re gonna smash it!” Fill their inbox with motivational quotes and celebrate their wins across the miles.
Create traditions
Traditions and rituals are comforting when you don’t see each other regularly. Come up with special things just the two of you share, even from afar.
Maybe you have a cute goodnight selfie ritual, send matching pajamas to wear for regular movie nights, or read the same book simultaneously then discuss. Repeated habits feel bonding.
Remember the little things
When chatting, go beyond big life updates and remember your friend’s little details. Ask how their new succulent is going, if the co-worker who annoys them is still bothering them, or how their kid’s soccer game went.
Your ability to retain and reference small details makes them feel special and known. And take note as they share to demonstrate your care long-term.
Send mail on tough days
If you know your best friend is going through a hard time, use snail mail to show you care from afar. Send a card letting them know you’re thinking of them on the anniversary of a loss, or post a little care package if they’re sick.
Let them know you’re there in spirit and they’re loved. Your mail will be a comforting bright spot during darkness, reminding them they’re not alone.
Conclusion
Nurturing a close friendship with miles between you just requires a little effort and creativity. Prioritize regular conversations, use technology to your advantage and find meaningful ways to show you care across the distance. If you make your bond a priority, you can stay just as close with your long-distance best friend.